Posts
I totally would never have voted for this muslim communist!
Key:
White = Article
Black = Links to their article
Red = Things I found amusing
Red in Brackets = My brilliant analysis
Barack Hussein Obama II (born in Honolulu,[1][2] August 4, 1961) is the Democratic junior Senator from Illinois (2004 - present) [That’s totally not like any time at all!] and President-elect of the United States.[3] On November 4, Obama and his running mate Senator Joseph Biden won the presidency after spending a record-shattering $650 million, most of which came from anonymous donors never disclosed by Obama. [He only “won” because he “bought” the election. Oh yeah, and there is this little law about not having to disclose donor’s if they donate less than $200. So yeah….MAJOR cover-up going on there!] President-elect Obama will likely [likely?] become the first Muslim President, and may use the Koran to be sworn into office at his inauguration on January 20, 2009.[4][5] [Or he could use the Book of Satan, Hustler Magazine, an upside down bible, or a dead baby. He’s still debating his options.]
Obama has espoused the socialist idea of "spreading the wealth" in other words raising the tax rates on business and the wealthy to a burdensome level in order to redistribute their income to low income individuals, many of whom don't currently pay taxes [LOSERS!]. From which [I think we’re gonna have to put a “sic” right there as that makes no grammatical sense] John McCain replied "He's running for Redistributor In Chief, I'm running for Commander In Chief." [6] The slogan "From each according to their ability to each according to their need" is an idea originally proposed by Karl Marx and is clearly the inspiration for the centrally planned economy Obama will introduce to the US in January 2009. In addition, his health care plan forces employers to purchase health care or pay a fine and will force many into a poorly run single payer system.[WOW they sited to his actual plan and everything! Oh wait…they didn’t..] The socialization of health care will force taxpayers to pay for healthcare for those who refuse to purchase it themselves. [Ummm hello! What the fuck do you think is happening right now?]
The October 2008 crimes against Academy Award winner Jennifer Hudson's family highlight Obama's record against law and order, as he voted against making it a crime in Illinois "for convicts on probation or on bail to have contact with a street gang".[8] The person of interest in the murders of Hudson's mother, brother, and 7-year-old nephew is the estranged husband of Hudson's sister and a convicted felon who had violated his parole conditions. [9] "'We've got 75,000 gang members - that's almost six gang members to one police officer.'"[10] [Because Jennifer Hudson is central to the conservative movement and if Obama had not told this “thug” (see what I did there?!?!) to kill her family none of this would have totally happened!]
Obama is the first person having ties to a known terrorist to gain control over America's nuclear weapons.[11][12] Author and blogger Jack Cashill compared the writing style of Bill Ayers' 2001 memoir, Fugitive Days, with Barack Obama's earlier 1995 book, Dreams From My Father, and came to the conclusion that Ayres had ghostwritten Dreams.[13] [14] [I personally think it was ghostwritten by Oprah. That is because I am an author and a blogger, so my theory stands strong.]
Doctors from the Association of American Physicians and Surgeons have stated that Obama uses techniques of mind control in his speeches and campaign symbols. [ZOMFG! Zombie mind control!! Claimed by doctors who are too scared to state their names!!!oneone!!!1] For example, one speech declared, "a light will shine down from somewhere, it will light upon you, you will experience an epiphany, and you will say to yourself, 'I have to vote for Barack.'"[20] [Fuck! I knew there was no legitimate reason I would have voted for a “black” guy. I sue you in internetz court!]
The evidence that Obama is a Muslim includes:
- Obama's background, education, and outlook are Muslim, and fewer than 1% of Muslims convert to Christianity.[22][23] [You win this argument, sir!]
- Obama's middle name (Hussein) references Husayn, who was the grandson of Muhammad, which most Christians would not retain.[24] [I found jebus, I MUST change my middle name! Thank God I haven’t found jebus. With my stripper name I’d have to re-do the whole fucking thing]
- Obama stated that the autobiography of Malcolm X, a Nation of Islam leader who became a Muslim, inspired him in his youth.[27] [Because that book was totally NOT about a black man overcoming obstacles to become a leader in the black power struggle. Or anything. Like that. Just Muslim’in it up in there]
- Obama raised nearly $1 million and campaigned for a Kenyan presidential candidate who had a written agreement with Muslim leaders promising to convert Kenya to an Islamic state that bans Christianity.[28] [Umm… No…FAIL]
- Obama's claims of conversion to Christianity arose after he became politically ambitious, lacking a date of conversion or baptism.[29] [Gasp! Someone who would fake religion to be in politics! I am shocked and appalled sir.]
- On the campaign trail Obama has been reading "The Post-American World" by Fareed Zakaria,[30] which is written from a Muslim point-of-view.[31] [Umm… No…FAIL]
- Obama uses the Muslim Pakistani pronunciation for "Pakistan" rather than the common American one.[32] [Well FUCK ME! He has command of the English language. Total Muslim]
- Obama is mentioned as helping to organize the 1995 million man march led by black Muslim leader Louis Farrakhan from the Nation of Islam. [35] [Sold. He’s Muslim all right]
Obama tries to downplay his Islamic background by claiming that his Kenyan Muslim father was a "confirmed atheist" before Obama was born, but in fact less than 1% of Kenyans are atheists, agnostics or non-religious.[36] [Since only about 1% of them receive any form of education, I would guess this is about right.]
Obama and Elitism
Obama has consistently shown himself to be an elitist who looks down on "ordinary" Americans. Asked to explain why working-class Democrats do not support him while campaigning for the Pennsylvania primary, Obama replied "it's not surprising, then, they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren't like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations."[37] In response to outrage when his remarks were unexpectedly publicized, Obama did not recount his statement but instead replied, I "didn't say it as well as I should have."[38] Although many rural counties went for McCain, Obama carried the state with 54.6% of the vote, compared to 44.3% for John McCain.[39] [So your point is?]
In an attempt counter the view by many that Obama is an elitist, he began running campaign ads claiming that he "worked his way through college and Harvard Law." This claim is at best an exaggeration, as Obama only held summer jobs while in college and law school[40], and he would have likely benefited from special scholarships not available to most students. [And by “most” they mean “white.” Cause you know those negro’s gets all the breaks]
Obama almost always reads from prepared text on a teleprompter and rarely allows tough questions.[41][42] Indeed, when unable to read from prepared text he often fails at articulating his positions and is caught tripping over his own feet.[43] His most recent debate performances illustrate that he may have been extensively coached over the course of 2008, although he still repeatedly fumbles at moments where he moves off his memorized remarks. [Unlike Sarah Pallin who received no coaching at all]
Insights
Obama has described himself as a constitutional law professor at the University of Chicago.[45] He held the position of Lecturer, an adjunct position, from 1992 to 1996.[46] He held the position of Senior Lecturer from 1996 until his election to the senate in 2004.[47] Dan Ronayne, a spokesman for the Republican National Committee, has pointed that Obama was only a senior lecturer and not a full professor. [48]The University states that Senior Lecturers are regarded as professors, although not full-time or tenure track.[49] [Wow….he isn’t even a “full” professor…]
Obama wore an American flag lapel pin after 9/11, but later stopped wearing it without adequate explanation.[52] [Explain your accessories, sir!] Presumably it would have hurt him with anti-military campaign donors.[53] [What, the 5 people in America who are “anti-military”?] Recently, he has begun wearing one again for reasons that are likely political pandering. [Bastard!]
Obama's campaign "is proud to be actively participating in over 60 local and state wide homosexual Pride events over the summer."[59] [I am proud of that too. Stop the H8!]
Secrecy
The Democratic party feels it necessary to keep all questions about Obama at a safe distance. It is an unprecedented move to keep secrets about a presidential candidate. The following questions remain sealed from the public. [103]
- Certified Copy of original Birth certificate(see certificate controversy below) [Provided. 2 court cases. Umm..Anyone see Trig’s?]
- Columbia College records
- Columbia Thesis paper [Objection, relevance]
- Campaign donor analysis requested by 7 major watchdog groups
- Harvard College records
- Illinois State Senate records
- Illinois State Senate schedule
- Law practice client list and billing records/summary [Cause that’s totally legal…]
- Locations and names of all half-siblings and step-mothers
- Medical records (only the one page summary released so far)
- Occidental College records
- Parent's Marriage Certificate
- Record of baptism [Prove you aren’t Muslim you bastard!]
- Selective Service Registration
- Trips schedules for trips outside of the United States before 2007
- Scholarly articles [Couldn’t you just look this up?]
- Access to his Grandmother (Obama's Grandmother has since passed away from cancer [57])
- List of all campaign workers that are lobbyists
He has no clear personal achievement that cannot be explained as the likely result of affirmative action.
For more fun facts please see the REAL internetz Encyclopedia
